Much of the content may be a bit dark, but it is not necessarily in chronological order. There are no dates, because I don't think it matters if I wrote it 3 years ago or yesterday. I decided to write for me and I know most of the time I feel like writing is when I have something I need to process or work through; this is really my only place to come to and release.

I am not miserable, I am just healing.

This is why I do my what I do :)

"This will be our last Christmas as just the two of us, and we wish to thank everyone ... for their fabulous efforts in helping us become parents and for helping make our dreams come true, finally. Yeah!!!!!!! You should all feel very proud to be doing what you are doing, as well as feel rest assured in the knowledge that you have genuinely made a difference in the world. So ThankYou, from the bottom of our hearts."

~Intended Parents

Myspace Comment - Laura's Page

I don’t care what is said
I know who I am
And why I am
And what I am not

You need to give your page a facelift
Cuz there’s some bitches draggin it down

I’m really pale
But it’s me untainted
Now my hair is another story

Never thought what I do would mean so much to those who don’t do anything
Should write a book
And make them wish
I didn’t care what they did when I knew them

Friendship means shit to so many people
I will hold you up, why do they put you down?
How do you fuck your friend’s man?
How can you throw stones at someone
When it is you who has failed them?

Baby weight sucks
Coffee is amazing
My job is to create happiness
So I choose to surround myself with it
All else can fall away
I wash it away

He makes me feel like when you wrap yourself in a warm towel after a bath
Pretty babies one day
Snow is still pretty
When it stays

Loyalty and respect
I bought a recorder
Because my girl has an agent
That doesn’t know who I am or who I know
But knows what I am
And wants me to write about it

School starts in a few weeks
Can’t nobody hold me down

Wish you were here to hang out with me and Brayden
Don’t ever come back Laura
This place eats souls
And brain cells
And integrity

Kit-Tan likes the fridge
Hopefully he stops liking it before he dies in it

I am a vegetarian now
Well I eat seafood
So I am a pescetarian

I am in love
And not with a boy
Or an idiot

This message is long overdue
And likely that it will be talked about
By more people than we might ever know

Sentencing Dec 30th
I love tangerines
And hate palm trees and humidity
Buddy loves him too

I feel like if I write about it
I will have to relive it
That’s not true
But it’s a scary thought
Cuz I made it disappear


>Insert new life here<

So she’s isn’t scared to say it to my face?
Then why did she not say anything to my face?
Until after I threw her own feces into hers?
At one time I thought she was something
Man I have learned so much in the last year

The lights along the river
Look like nyc lights from my window
If you ignore the trees and pretend you are in a 60th floor apartment

“you pay five dolla” – China man in Times Square
“30 dollars!” - Laura
“Why did he give you boobs and not me!?”- Laura

You remember sitting in that room with all that family, happiness, and warmth…
Surrounded by real people with real hearts?
She asks me about you

Im still so tired
I think it cuz I don’t have a workout at work every day anymore
I miss those dogs something absolutely terrible
I wish the people hadn’t ruined it for me

Im going to piss some people off
When I write about it

You ever read my blog?
Its my baby
But it’s a newborn
Sure to be a good read
For those with any kind of real brains anyway
So most of these fools need not bother

I like that I laugh when the laundry soap spills
I like that I write on my fridge
I wish I didn’t find pleasure in leaving them behind

I need to do something good again
I have to make a difference in lives
Because mine is bigger than me
I know it
I feel it
Like it is just what I am
I feel lost when I am just living
Fill the holes with books and lessons and work and words
I am here to do things
Not just “something”
But “some things”
Im just getting started

I hope you are still around to see it
When I change something big
Help people
Leave my footprint

I hope you are a part of it
When I make my life one that I look back on with a smile
When I fight for something impossible

I know I will
And I will write about it
And they will talk
And hate me
Because the only person they know how to help
Is one that will never say thank you

Tangerines are good
Tangelos are better

Bitches on your page… draggin you down